Lately I’ve been watching Fox News in order to see if they are truly “fair and balanced” as they claim. My results may be placed in another post, but so far I have noticed one thing about Fox newscasters. They all look like total goobers. You would expect that a news network would try to put their best foot forward and have some decent looking people on the air. And if not decent looking, at least average. But it seems as though Fox News found the goofiest people they could and put them in front of the camera. I decided to do a comparison of Fox newscasters vs. CNN newscasters to illustrate my point.
John Gibson – Fox News
Wolf Blitzer – CNNMy first comparison is between John Gibson, host of The Big Story on Fox, and Wolf Blitzer, host of The Situation Room and other programs on CNN. Notice the goofy grin on John Gibson’s face. If you have ever watched his program, you know that goofy faces seem to be the standard with him. Wolf Blitzer, however, maintains a moderately normal face, and despite being grey, has a certain air of distinction about him.
Shepard Smith – Fox News
Miles O’Brien – CNNThe next paring is Shepard Smith, host of The Fox Report on Fox News, and Miles O’Brien, host of American Morning on CNN. The first thing anyone notices about Shepard Smith is that his eyes are approximately sixteen miles away from one another. This makes him appear to be a being from some other planet. Also, what kind of a name is Shepard?? Now Miles, that’s a good American name. Someone definitely fit to host American Morning. Shepard Smith, on the other hand, should probably be hosting Mars Weekend Report.
Alan Colmes – Fox News
Larry King – CNNNext, we have Alan Colmes, host of Hannity & Colmes on Fox News, against Larry King, host of Larry King Live on CNN. Now we have the first example of a rather odd looking CNN host. This picture kind of makes King look a bit trollish. While this is a creepy picture, most of the time Larry looks half decent. Either way, in comparison to the gargoyle that is Alan Colmes, Larry King comes off looking like a supermodel.
Greta Van Susteren – Fox News
Paula Zahn – CNNLets give it up for the ladies in our next pairing, Greta Van Susteren, host of On the Record with Greta Van Susteren on Fox, and Paula Zahn, host of Paula Zahn Now on CNN. I hate to sound repetitive with goofy faces when people talk, but with Van Susteren it again holds true. I chose that particular picture to illustrate how dumb she looks when she talks. It’s astounding that this person was let anywhere near a camera. Paula Zahn on the other hand…meeeowwww.
Chris Wallace – Fox News
Lou Dobbs – CNNChris Wallace, host of Fox News Sunday on Fox, vs. Lou Dobbs, host of Lou Dobbs Tonight on CNN. Lou Dobbs looks like a fine upstanding man, while Chris Wallace looks like he wants his face punched in. Nuff said.
Bill O’Reilly – Fox News
Anderson Cooper – CNNFor the final match up, we have two heavy hitters. Bill O’Reilly, host of The O’Reilly Factor on Fox, and Anderson Cooper, host of Anderson Cooper 360° on CNN. O’Reilly is by far the most popular newscaster on Fox. Oddly enough, he is also by far the most normal looking. Even with his regular looking face, he can’t hold a candle to the dreamboat of all dreamboats, Anderson Cooper. Look at that smile. Makes me melt inside.
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Listen: Bad Company, “Shooting Star”
Quote: “I can’t carry a pen, I’m afraid I’ll puncture my scrotum.” – George Costanza
Pete
Clint
mshanker
i love anderson.
p.s. bill o’reilly isn’t normal looking. he’s horrendous.