I went to get my hairs cut today, and it was quite an experience, let me tell you (and I will, since this is my post).
The local Costcutters ($13.95 for a “style” cut) is right down the road. I walk in, and I’m greeted by an elderly receptionist, and she asks me what I’d like done. It’s so good that they let people over 60 work.
To my surprise, the woman instructs me to come to the back, because she’s ready to cut my hair. At this point I noticed a resemblance to someone from somewhere, I’m running scenarios through my head of where I know this woman from — is this someone’s grandmother…does she have a great granddaughter that I know…is she from an AARP brochure that was mailed to my apartment for a previous tenant…
Anyway, she starts with the cut. I instruct her as plainly as I can what I need done. “One on the sides, scissors at finger-length on the top, blend it in the middle, and box it in the back.” It’s an easy cut. Let’s put it this way – freshman year, girls that have never cut hair before cut my hair and it was fine. I would assume that at Costcutters, the “stylists” are put through some sort of intensive training program.
A course in geometry apparently is not involved in this training program, given the result of my hair cut.
If any Costcutters stylists view this, please observe the above image, and note how each of these shapes can be cut exactly in half, and both of their sides are exactly the same! It’s called symmetry, and most people learn it when they’re three by folding a piece of paper in half.
Anyway, substantial modifications were necessary upon my return home, and when I’m paying $13.95 plus a tip, I shouldn’t have to modify anything.
My stylist is trying to strike up conversation, and striking out on every proposed topic.
So, how was your day?
Good.
Man, that rain is bad out there, is there a lot of traffic?
Yes, it is bad, and yes, there is a lot of traffic, which is typical for 5:00 pm on a Friday.
What do you do?
Study and go to school.
I went to school once. One time I failed algebra, and I had to beg my teacher to pass me.
[No response.........long, awkward pause]
So, who are you going to vote for for President? I haven’t been following it much, but I like Obama, he seems like a nice fellow.
At this point, I realize who she is. It’s the mom from Requiem for a Dream. You know, the one who gets addicted to pills.
Yup, that’s her. I can’t believe it. This woman is wearing too much makeup, has a bad dye-job, has a nervous tick. No wonder she can’t cut hair.
Lady, I don’t know who I’m going to vote for.
Pete
Clint
mshanker
Not sure what town you are in, but if you are near one of these, you might have a different experience:
http://www.tightcuts.com/
Thank you for your prompt response. As a matter of fact, I have been looking for a different haircutting experience, and judging by the name of your URL, I can be assured a tight cut, which is exactly what I need.
To clarify, Tight Cuts is not my salon. (I have a color specialty salon where you would most probably not enjoy the experience.) Tight Cuts is a franchised barber shop with cute your hairdressers where they give a scalp massage and a Red Bull. We call it Hooters for Hair!
Damn I hate typos. I meant YOUNG hairdressers, not YOUR hairdressers!
A scalp massage and a red bull = my idea of the perfect haircut. Hopefully the cute young hairdressers don’t drink the Red Bull, because that would give them wings (or at least shaky hands). I might enjoy the experience at a color specialty salon, I’ve never been to one. What does that entail?
I actually have a cute young roomate who cuts my hair. He also gives scalp massages, but in place of the Red Bull we have Natural Light. For those of you unfamiliar with the brand, it’s “The smooth pilsner with all-natural ingredients.” Usually I’ll have about five during the course of the haircut and my hairdresser has the same. This usually leads to confrontations so I’m glad my hairdresser uses buzzers that he can’t stab me with.
How foolish of me – I should’ve referred you to our resident hair specialist at Ranty McRanterson – Clint is far more qualified to comment on such matters. If you have any doubts, view the video on the history page. It’s self-explanatory.