I was tooling around with my email today (Gmail is the bomb diggity) and I foolishly ventured into my spam folder. First off, the spam screen for Gmail is awesome. There was absolutely nothing in there that I wanted to look at, it even knows me so well that it places overdue bills there. Just fantastic. Anyway, I noticed that I had some apparently important unread messages from people with some very strange names. I read them and was totally confounded by the weirdness.
-
Email 1:
From: Rosia Rusiecki
Date: Tue, Feb 10, 2009 at 9:32 AM
Subject: Message Alert – You Have 1 Imporrtant Unread Message
How To Impress Your Girlfriendd
Click HERE
Sure, i know! Aaron replied. I thought you would, am notah
insensible, to the manyahmany things how do you know that,
sir? Asked summerlee, sharply. Of one point. Linda considered
herself guilty. And then i blurted out the words that came
to.
Email 2:
From: Routledge Rigazio
Date: Tue, Feb 10, 2009 at 4:37 PM
Subject: Message Alert – You Have 1 Importaant Unread Message
How To Impress Yourr Girlfriend
Click HERE
Of diverse kinds. The bare ground is their seat. And her
brows are calm, but he was like all loversblindand is all
open and uninclosed: not a fence is to of this curse, thou
shalt again become a brahmana. Which outlived its creator
through centuries of.
Email 3:
From: Courie Keaffaber
Date: Fri, Feb 13, 2009 at 8:05 PM
Subject: Happy Valenntines Day!
Improve your love life wiith generic Viagra
Click HERE
Be showy and picturesque enough, all things considered, credible
witness in the court of public works oh another sort of
trustee, isn’t he, ellie? At in a kind of apache getup,
tightlybuttoned coat, in the estate! You represent your
father when.
Email 4:
From: Haislip Spurlin
Date: Sat, Feb 14, 2009 at 6:45 AM
Subject: Happy Valentinees Day!
Improve your love life with generic Viagra
Click HERE
Pallor of weariness returned. I have been upon sportive are
not fearful poisons set up in the thy rays. Thou art called
indra, thou art vishnu, to tell the attributes of the illustrious
siva. Clean up your plate or i’ll give you a good hiding..
Email 5:
From: Roscioli Centanni
Date: Sat, Feb 14, 2009 at 1:35 PM
Subject: Happy Valentinees Day!
Improve your lovve life with generic Viagra
Click HERE
Perfume of newmown hay greets us, and the road while it lasted,
and we’re still the best of friends. That in my despair
and disappointment, after a where they are to be found,
or can contrive to latter nodded gently. Yes, my friend,
he said..
Email 6:
From: Dawber Fireman
Date: Sat, Feb 14, 2009 at 8:39 PM
Subject: Happy Valentiness Day!
IImprove your love life with generic Viagra
Click HERE
The man i was. I will not be the man i must have was a narrow
channel onlytom. Wide, where the to the opinion of six out
of the nine judges in was collected from imposts, and the
citizen imagined nearly two years ago, in the expectation
of a.
Okay, so lets discuss. First of all, what is with the names? Dawber Fireman? Shenanigans. There is no way that anyone in history has ever had that name. I can’t even tell if that name is supposed to be male or female. Also, why all the random misspellings? Valentines wasn’t spelled correctly once, but misspelled in a different way each time. How do you pull that off? And why the creepy drug induced free word association poetry? I found that so incredibly disturbing that I don’t even know what to say. Apparently someone thinks I could really use some generic Viagra.
—
Listen: Jadakiss, “Why”
Quote: “What news do you bring?” – Matt
Pete
Clint
Why not? Fireman is a plausible last name… Dawber’s great great great great grandfather clearly put out fires for a living. Kinda like tiki barber’s clearly cut hair.
But more importantly who is this Linda? and why is she guilty?! I must know more.
PS- i sent you those emails. get the hint already and impress me.
PSS- no i will not listen to “Why” by Jadakiss.