Hero of the Month – December 2009

This Month’s Hero: Carl “CJ” Johnson

Bicycle Drive By. The gangster version of Motorcycle Drive By by TEB.

     This is actually a very long overdue tribute to one of my favorite video game characters. Carl is the protagonist from Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. After approximately one million hours of actual playtime, I feel like I’ve gotten to know CJ pretty well. For a short sum up of his personality, he’s a street thug with a heart of gold. He has the ability to befriend many people from disparate ethnicities as well as socio-economic groups.

Examples (From Wiki):
Cesar Vialpando-CJ’s sister’s boyfriend as well as a gang leader of the Varrios Los Aztecas, a latino gang whose members are hostile toward the Grove Street Families (hereafter GSF) which is Carl’s gang.
Wu Zi Mu (“Woozie”)-leader of the Mountain Cloud Boys Triads, based in San Fierro’s Chinatown and in Las Venturas.
Mike Toreno-an undercover agent from a “government agency” who disguises himself as a drug dealer for the Loco Syndicate.
The Truth-an aging hippie who initially lives in the mountains on the outskirts of San Fierro and previously owned a marijuana farm.
Zero-a 28 year old electronics expert, forced virgin and hobbyist who manages an electronics shop in San Fierro owned by CJ.

He also commands an insane amount of loyalty from these people, as they tend to show up at random times to provide him with support.

Yeah it's a jetpack. Do you know how hard it is to steal one of these from a secret Government installation? Because CJ does.

     Another bonus about CJ is character customization. He starts off rather skinny and out of shape, but after a few missions the gym is unlocked and you can make Carl as hard as you’d like. Since this is easier than getting myself in shape, I took advantage to make my Carl (hereafter Gilo’s CJ) the hardest mofo on the face of the planet. Not only was he ripped as hell, he had some badass tats and a high fade that was sick nasty. In addition, Gilo’s CJ repped GSF to the extreme. The set’s main color is green and I put CJ in green track pants with green low tops and a black beater with a green bandeezy. Pretty sick nasty if I do say so myself. Another bonus is that Carl can become better at things like riding bikes, motorcycles and the like. By the end of the game, Gilo’s CJ could bunny hop onto the roofs of low buildings. SICK. This also applies to guns. If CJ gets his Desert Eagle Skill to full, it’s one shot kills from pretty much any range.

Somebody really let their CJ go.

     Eventually, I beat the game to 100% completion, which is no easy feat. For a 100% checklist look here. The hardest for me was the last freight mission. You have to drive an eighteen-wheeler all the way across the map with four stars. It doesn’t sound that hard, but the cops tend to ram you and knock the trailer off. After that you have thirty seconds to hook it back up with cops ramming you the whole time. If you get this far and your trailer gets knocked off, go to your last save point and start over. It’s almost impossible to finish after that.

A chain gun? Well, why not?

     In conclusion, CJ is the best protagonist in GTA history. I’m not saying I don’t like Claude (GTA: III), Tommy Vercetti (GTA: Vice City) and Niko Bellic (GTA: IV), but let’s face it, these characters have their downfalls. Claude doesn’t talk, Tommy’s clothes are awful (I know it’s the 80′s, but no excuses, play like a champion), and Niko is kind of a fish out of water in Liberty City. Finally, my middle name is James, so I’m also a CJ. Nuff said.

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Listen: Rick Ross, “Hustlin’”
Quote: “Don’t blame me, blame society.” – CJ