My New Haircut (and Many Older Ones)

     It was suggested in a comment on one of Matt’s post that I am the resident hair expert at Ranty. This, of course, is 100% true. As proof of this fact, I have dug up some of the more outlandish hairdos I have rocked out in the past.
WARNING: Some viewers might find these [...]

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Comparison

I don’t condone drug use, but the similarity between these two photos is uncanny.

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Ranty McRanterson’s "Welcome To The Trophy Room" Award

Ranty McRanterson’s “WELCOME TO THE TROPHY ROOM” Award 2007

And the winner is:

Cawww!!

Congratulations!

Listen: Grandaddy, “He’s Simple, He’s Dumb, He’s the Pilot”
Quote: “I win.” – Me

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L*ndis Tests Positive for Doping

Semi-pro cyclist Matthew L*ndis at a gala event in Carlisle.
This was taken from an Associated Press Article posted today at 10:15am EST.
SOUDERTON, Pennsylvania (AP)
Rising cycling star Matthew L*ndis has tested positive for “unbelievably high” levels of testosterone after the mile 17 rest stop in Saturday’s annual River to River Ride in Montgomery County, Pennsylvania. A [...]

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A Brief History of Mankind

     I feel that this would be the opportune moment to write a post about the contributors to this blog and their many accomplishments. First off, we all went to Souderton Area High School and graduated sometime during the period of 2000-2010. We’re all blatantly sarcastic assholes, and we’re all obviously hungry for some kind of [...]

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Why I rock a 4.3333333333333333 GPA

Someone at school uppercutted me, but I didn’t skip a section of my textbook. It’s no wonder grad schools came knocking down my door at 2AM with multimillion dollar signing bonuses to attract my brilliant mind and chiseled abs. The school ran this in their yearly brochure, hence the official logo. With America’s [...]

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