The Future of Sports

     So I was watching someone’s number being retired and a thought occurred to me. What happens hundreds of years in the future when all the numbers start getting retired? And yes, American football, baseball and hockey will be around that far into the future. Soccer and professional basketball will not be. [...]

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New Jersey Made a Funny!

The New Jersey General Assembly passed a resolution in recognition of the New York Giants winning Super Bowl XLII. The resolution included a few pokes o’ fun, New Jersey style!
Tackle Kareem McKenzie, a New Jersey native, was in attendance to represent the Giants. “We appreciate your efforts on behalf of the New Jersey [...]

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Introducing the Next American Gladiator

Ok, I’ve put a lot of thought into this Re: the new American Gladiators. What’s better than a cocky yet confident New York City Fireman, or a Youth Pastor with a heart of gold?
You guessed it: a hobo with a chip on his shoulder.
It would be perfect — the great American success story unfolding [...]

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Roy Williams is a Punk

Although newspaper headlines will probably highlight the upset victory of the Philadelphia Eagles over the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday, the headline could very easily have had a very different message on Monday morning.
“Eagles lose; McNabb suffers season-ending injury from illegal tackle”
Dallas strong safety Roy Williams tackled a scrambling Donovan McNabb from behind during the second [...]

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The AP Sports Writers = Idiots

First of all, Happy New Year, and second of all, this blog post was influenced and supported by a delicious whiskey sour.
A dish best served cold…and in a Mickey Mouse glass.
Drew Brees again got shafted, this time not by Gary Horton (idiot), but this time by the morons over at the Associated Press. They must’ve [...]

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Gary Horton is an Idiot

Gary Horton, resident genius from Scouts Inc., ranked Jeff Garcia as number 30 out of 32 top starting quarterbacks in the NFL. Here’s his reasoning:
“His stats were acceptable in loss at Indy — 19-for-23 with two TDs and no INT — but had only 140 total passing yards. There was virtually no vertical component or [...]

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The Mummy Plays Football?

The mummy, left, with Drew Brees

Bruce Gradkowski on the sideline of Monday night’s game
Did Bruce Gradkowski, the quarterback from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, have a short stint in feature films?
You decide.

Listen: R.E.M., “What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?”
Quote: “Oh look, a bighorn.” – Will Ferrell as Robert Goulet

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Sam Cassell: Neoteny in Action

I like to apply things we’re learning about in class to real-life scenarios: this week, I observed Sam Cassell’s fetus-like characteristics and realized it was a prime example of neoteny.

You’re a dirty fetus.

ne·ot·e·ny (n-tn-)
NOUN:
Retention of juvenile characteristics in the adults of a species, as among certain amphibians.The attainment of sexual maturity by an organism still [...]

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Conspiracy Theories: Installment 5

Fantasy Football
It has recently come to my attention that ‘Fantasy Football’ is a creation of the NFL marketing department. In a bold move to increase watchership, the NFL commissioned a team of approximately 4,000 former U.S. Presidents, retired Army personnel, and out of work cabbies to create this league and then pass it off to [...]

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The Rock’s NFL Picks!

The Rock is starring in a new football movie, Gridiron Gang. And everyone knows that appearing in a football movie gives you the ability and football knowledge necessary to predict the future in terms of NFL results. I happened to be an extra in the 2006 movie Invincible starring Mark Wahlberg, so I also have [...]

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