The Greatest (and Worst) Commerical Campaigns of All Time

     Let’s face it, commercials are annoying. I used to have Direct TV and could record shows and view them later in order to skip over the network’s attempts to pay for the programming that I was enjoying. Unfortunately, due someone moving in with an already existing two year contract, we switched to Comcast. [...]

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The USS (Useless Shitty Ship) Steve Irwin

     Friday marked the season finale of the Animal Planet show Whale Wars. For those of you unacquainted with the show, it chronicles the voyages of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, a group opposed to whaling, as they confront Japanese whalers off the coast of Antarctica. While watching, I was amused by their total [...]

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The Future of Sports

     So I was watching someone’s number being retired and a thought occurred to me. What happens hundreds of years in the future when all the numbers start getting retired? And yes, American football, baseball and hockey will be around that far into the future. Soccer and professional basketball will not be. [...]

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Hero of the Month – July 2009

This Month’s Hero: Tyler Perry
     This month’s Hero is the great Tyler Perry. This man had done more to infuriate me in the past few years than almost anyone on the face of the planet. Except Tim Tebow. I hate hearing that damn name. Why the hell is everyone on that dude’s [...]

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Dr. Dylan Walsh – Apes to Plastic Surgery

Dr. Dylan Walsh in Congo
Now I know why I love Nip/Tuck so much. Dylan Walsh, who plays Dr. Sean McNamara in FX’s Nip/Tuck, was cast as Dr. Peter Elliot in the modern marvel of American cinema, Congo (1995).
This also happened to be my favorite movie from my childhood, so it only makes sense [...]

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Introducing the Next American Gladiator

Ok, I’ve put a lot of thought into this Re: the new American Gladiators. What’s better than a cocky yet confident New York City Fireman, or a Youth Pastor with a heart of gold?
You guessed it: a hobo with a chip on his shoulder.
It would be perfect — the great American success story unfolding [...]

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Prime Time TV Analyst: Grey’s Anatomy

     Just to put my biases out there right away, I think Grey’s Anatomy sucks ass. I have found only one redeeming quality about the show, and that’s that they played a Mike Doughty song during one of the episodes (I heard). Actually, I’m not sure if I like a show like Grey’s Anatomy degrading a [...]

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Jon Stewart: A Pictorial Analysis

My opinion of Jon Stewart is very similar to my opinion of Richard Nixon. My enduring yet entirely heterosexual love for Nixon grew out of my observation of the boiling hatred he inspired in all of my college professors. I figured, “Hey, if these schmucks hate him so much, he can’t be all that bad.” [...]

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Fox Goofcasters

     Lately I’ve been watching Fox News in order to see if they are truly “fair and balanced” as they claim. My results may be placed in another post, but so far I have noticed one thing about Fox newscasters. They all look like total goobers. You would expect that a news network would try to [...]

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Expect to be Pissed Off

     I really despise those new television commercials for carding underage citizens for tobacco. Those of you who have seen this “Expect to be Carded” ad campaign should immediately know what I’m talking about, but for those of you who haven’t, allow me to set the scene for one such commercial. A guy and [...]

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