It was suggested in a comment on one of Matt’s post that I am the resident hair expert at Ranty. This, of course, is 100% true. As proof of this fact, I have dug up some of the more outlandish hairdos I have rocked out in the past.
WARNING: Some viewers might find these haircuts shocking or even offensive. Ranty McRanterson is not responsible for any medical or emotional complications that you may experience. Not for the faint of heart.
Hairdo #1
This is my standard short cut. I am the one in the middle holding the plaque. The rest are the members of the Maryland Soil Judging team, and the plaque signifies our first place finish in the team judging competition. We rock. Moving on.
Hairdo #2
This marks the longest my hair has ever been (in recent history anyhow). Pictured with me is Dan Young, lifetime friend and former contributor to that glorious publication The Enduring Vision. Now to the good stuff.
Hairdo #3
This rat’s nest is the full beard. It was intimidating but also itchy as hell. It had to go. Pictured with me is Glenn Boslego, waTERPolo hero.
Hairdo #4
This, of course, is the classic Mr. T haircut. This cut has become one of my go to do’s and has served me well. Always nice to pay homage to an American Hero. A-Team away!
Hairdo #5
I’m particularly proud of this one. Classic mohawk with a modern twist. Full sideburns and braided beard. Don’t act like you’re not impressed. I clearly was, judging by the satisfied smile on my face.
Hairdo #6
Tiring of the same old gimmicks, I decided to go with the never-before-seen checkers cut. This did not get me as much play with the ladies as you might expect. Shocking, I know.
Hairdo #7
Yes, that’s right. Blond. It was a strange period in my life and I figured it had to be done. So I made it so. The girl licking my face is Noelle Brutus. I won’t even try to explain.
Hairdo #8
This is the culmination. It is a two-toned mohawk. Your eyes do not deceive you. After the blond had grown out sufficiently to pull this move. I actually went to class like this.
So, all of you haters out there now know that I am the supreme when it comes to hair. I have been submitting this portfolio to various art museums. So far I haven’t had any luck, so I tend to believe that the hair has not yet reached a maximum crazy level. I’ve recently be wracking my brain trying to figure out a new angle. I have a few leads, so I’ll keep you all posted. I hope this post wasn’t too shocking.
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Listen: Everlast, “Ends”
Quote: “The good die young, I ain’t eligible for that.” – Fitty
I like the Moyer and Son shirt in the first picture. Way to represent. Too bad we didn’t take any pictures the time we shaved the Moyer and Son logo into your head and dyed it yellow and blue.
Yo, I think I deserve a bit of recognition for assisting in some of those hair-do’s. P.S. I have some new hair ideas that will blow your mind.
It is indeed true. Sean Hart is the major mastermind behind most of those haircuts. I was hoping I could maintain full credit, but what are you gonna do? I look forward to your ideas Sean.
hahaha, They’re joint efforts between the top two hair artists in the world.
Great stuff. Not many respect the full beard with mohawk. A style that should be represented for years:
http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/webmaster/
its the cut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!