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Archive for the ‘Epic Short Stories’ Category

We all love Chipotle.  The soft flour tortilla overflowing with fluffy rice, juicy pepper and onions, mushy beans, succulent tender meats, spicy salsa, gooey guacamole and semi-melted jack cheese.  My keyboard is covered in drool just thinking about it.  My friend, the Steak Burrito with red salsa (hot), pinto beans and cheese, is probably the stupidest thing to eat the night before a job interview.  The song “Tainted Love” springs into my head.

I arrived in College Park for a job interview in Arlington.  Meeting up with my bros we drank some Buds (heavy, not light), got hungry and went to that old standby:  the Greenbelt Chipotle.  A straight shot up MD-193 with the omnipresent danger of hitting a day laborer crossing Greenbelt Road makes the sizzling scent of Chipotle all the more enticing.  The fact that you may very well murder a Mexican en route to eat Mexican food somehow makes the burrito that much tastier.  But I digress…  We got our Chipotle, somehow managed not to eat it in the car and made our way back to 8802, a house so filled with empty beer bottles and cans that a homeless man buy his way off the street if he discovered that Shangri-la of recyclables.  I forgot, this post is about the dangers of Chipotle…I’ll stay on topic.  Chipotle finished, some more Bud time followed by bed time.  Up early for the long Metro (Green + Orange) to Arlington, VA.

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[Editor’s Note: This entire story was written by Dirq, but he’s been taken off of our possible authors so this is under my name. Other than what is written in here and a slight formatting change, this is all Dirq. As promised, here is the stunning conclusion of The Last Bell. I’d tell you I waited until the latter part of the day to post it just to make you wonder whether or not I was gonna post it, that’d be a lie. Truth is, it’s just been a long day without internet connectivity. Anyway, enjoy it!]

The Last Bell
By Dirq
Chapter XIII – The Battle

     As Gerry was blasted into smithereens, Dan Nice led the main charge into the auditorium. He immediately spotted Steve’s group, spreading out across the stage. “Onward to the stage, men! And women!” Dan shouted heroically, rushing forward and holding aloft a mighty bomb. “Take this, vile heathen!”

     He hurled his bomb, but it detonated harmlessly a few feet ahead of him. “Okay, no harm done!” he shouted. “I’ll get ‘em with the next one!”

     The battle lines quickly formed – Steve Obeng and his group assembled on the stage and first few rows, while Dan and his men were attacking down the main isles, using cover from Josh in the balcony. Smoke and fire filled the room as more and more bombs went off. The situation began to become very confused.

     “We have to do something about their sniper up there!” Steve Obeng declared. “Steve… take care of him!”

     Steve Beneke rose from behind a table that was serving as his shield and nodded. “Leave everything to me, sir!”

     Immediately he grabbed a long chain that was hanging backstage and gave a mighty tug on it. The chain came tumbling down, and Steve quickly tied it into a lasso and charged toward the main part of the auditorium. The room was so filled with smoke and dust that none of the other group saw him approaching. Steve halted right beneath where he had seen the shape of the sniper. Gazing up, he saw that it was none other than Josh Yerk merrily throwing bombs into the auditorium.

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[Editor’s Note: This entire story was written by Dirq, but he’s been taken off of our possible authors so this is under my name. Other than what is written in here and a slight formatting change, this is all Dirq. I’m sticking to the weekly update precident I’ve set, so be looking for the FINAL installment next week. That’s right kids, after this, just one more part left and we can all find out who ultimately makes it out alive.]

The Last Bell
By Dirq
Chapter XI – Adrienne

     The class – or at least the half that remained after Dan’s departure – had organized itself into a rough circle to discuss what they were going to do. Personally, Adrienne didn’t care much about the political battle that seemed to have started. To her, no matter what any of them did, their situation was hopeless. No matter who had more power, no matter who was their leader, no matter who got control of the food or who possessed more of the school, they were all going to die.

     She looked around at the others, who were discussing what the territorial boundaries between their group and Dan’s group should be. It was ridiculous, Adrienne thought… humanity outside had just destroyed itself completely, and now the last people on earth were about to do the same thing to each other. Insanity… was everyone going insane? Adrienne certainly thought so.

     Steve Obeng pounded his fist on a desk for silence. “Enough of this! We shouldn’t be bargaining with them like this! You’ve democratically elected me the leader! We can’t tolerate dissention in the ranks at a time like this!”

     “So what do we do about it?” Matt Landis asked.

     “We strike,” Steve said decisively. “Dan’s no fool. He’ll know that the most valuable area in the school is the cafeteria. That’s where all the food is, and we all need food. If he can get that, he’ll have the upper hand. So we strike before he can take it.”

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[Editor’s Note: As promised, here is the next installment of The Last Bell series. This entire story was written by Dirq, but he’s been taken off of our possible authors so this is under my name. Other than what is written in here and a slight formatting change, this is all Dirq. I already have the whole story broken up, formatted and saved to WordPress (that was a fun day and a half), so it should be relatively easy to put these out on a more regular basis. I’m going with weekly. Also, I know exactly how many parts are left to the story. Should I tell you? Maybe if you ask nicely.]

The Last Bell
By Dirq
Chapter IX – Steve Obeng

     When Kim gave the code word (“Wa-hooo”), Steve Obeng sprang out of the large trash bin he had been hiding in and raised a bottle of cleaning fluid over his head. Around him, his classmates were jumping out of their own hiding places to begin the attack on the mutant zombie teachers.

     “With the strength of Bill Cosby!” Steve shouted heroically, and struck a match. He set the match to the rag that he had stuffed into the top of the cleaning bottle and watched it begin to burn. Shouldn’t wait too long, he reminded himself. Steve quickly scanned the knuckle for a target. A few yards away, the mutant zombie of Mrs. Eschbach was backing away from the mass of students that had suddenly materialized. “Mrs. Eschbach!” Steve shouted.

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[Editor’s Note: Seeing that it’s been almost five years since the last installment, I suppose now is as good a time as any to post the next two thrilling chapters of The Last Bell. I had thought that I had lost the story after my complete computer meltdown, but after Sean and Gary commented that they wanted more, I conducted an in-depth search. Lo and behold, there it was, hiding on my old hard drive. This entire story was written by Dirq, but he’s been taken off of our possible authors so this is under my name. Other than what is written in here and a slight formatting change, this is all Dirq. So, without further ado, here you are! Okay a little more ado, since its been a whole long while and you’ve forgotten all that’s happened, I’m posting links to Parts 1-3 below. Also, Part 3 seems to have terminated halfway through the Jill chapter, so I’ll post the final half of that chapter and the next two.]

The Last Bell – Pt. 1
The Last Bell – Pt. 2
The Last Bell – Pt. 3

The Last Bell
By Dirq
Chapter VI – Jill [2nd Half]

     They all stood listening. Jill strained her ears, hoping to detect that sound again. It had been almost like clothing brushing against the carpeted walls of the C Wing. After a few moments of completed silence, however, Jill shrugged and turned back around. “I guess it was nothing.” She smiled. “I guess my mind is playing tricks on me.”

     “We’re all on edge,” Kate said sympathetically. Jill smiled and nodded. She liked Kate – she was always very understanding. Dirk said that they should continue on to the basement, so the group started to move once again.

     Suddenly something moved in the hallway ahead of them. Something stepped out of a stairwell and into the middle of the hallway, something that very much resembled the figure that Dirk and Josh had seen the night before. Jill’s heart thumped and seemed to stop in her chest as she froze in her tracks. The rest of the group halted immediately.

     Jill had never seen anything like it. It was indeed Mr. Johnson, the kindly old math teacher. However, it also wasn’t Mr. Johnson, the kindly old math teacher. His skin was pale and white and seemed to be stretched taught over his bones. His clothing was torn and in disorder. One of his feet was without shoe or sock. The strangest thing, thought, was the look in his eyes. It was an alien look, full of both curiosity and hatred.

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     Something you might not know about me Joe Rogan, my subconscious writes screenplays.

     Truth be told, even I didn’t know that about me until this morning after waking up and remembering the first five minutes of an amazing movie that I wrote without knowing it. The dream seemed so much like a produced movie that I actually had to sit there for a minute and think if it was a movie that I had seen somewhere. I suppose there is still a chance that I am ripping this off from somewhere else, but I think once you hear the sheer gloriousness of the movie/dream, you will cease doubting it’s authenticity. Allow me to describe it to you as I remember it.

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     Because it’s been almost two weeks since the last thrill-packed episode, I’ve decided to toss in three (3) chapters of “The Last Bell” this time. I’ve received comments from literally ones and twos of people demanding that I post updates more regularly. Ashley and Josh, your prayers have been answered. Behold!

[Editor’s Note: Due to the fact that I am a complete jackass, this installment is extremely late. Dirq was counting on me to post this almost a month ago, but my slacker nature prevented such an event. My sincere apologies to Dirq and our vast readership. I hereby promise to amend my ways and get you these promptly.]

The Last Bell
By Dirq
Chapter IV – Mr. Rob Blankenship

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