Intro: The origins of this post were from my deceased blog from my semester abroad, however the substance of the matter was developed through a series of discussions driving around backroads in Southeast PA past my bedtime.
Paints.
I can’t stand it. I wish someone would just say, my paint. Not my paints. You may be wondering why I choose to hate on a word like that, and be that specific about it. Well I’ll tell you. I read this book in middle school, and I’m not sure what the title was, but if someone can come up with what it was I’ll give you five dollars. The story had something to do with this kid that ended up symbolically throwing his paints into some raging river. Shit, I just hate hearing that. And they said paints no less than twenty times over the course of five minutes’ reading.
LSAT questions just so happen to have the same effect on me. Here is a sample selected at random from a logic games section of a recent test.
A treehouse apartment complex houses ten animals. Each room, numbered one through ten accommodates an animal. The animals that are housed in rooms are —Wally Wombat, Wanda Wombat, Laurie Lynx, Lance Lynx, Sperry Spider Monkey, Sandra Spider Monkey, Paul Porpoise, Pamela Porpoise and Jamal Giraffe and Gary Giraffe.
- Wanda Wombat and Wally Wombat are not next to each other.
- Lance Lynx and Laurie Lynx must be in rooms next to each other.
- Wombats and Giraffes must be on opposite halves of the hallway, because they fight to the death whenever within twenty feet of one another, and due to the non-violence policies the management has imposed upon residents of this slightly upscale treehouse apartment complex, fighting is not allowed.
- Spider Monkeys are creatures of habit and superstition, thus they may only live in even numbered rooms.
Doesn’t reading that just piss you off?
Listen: Team Goldie, “Sharpshooter! Sharpshooter!”
Quote: “I am the last dj.” – Myself
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