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Archive for December, 2009

This Month’s Hero: Carl “CJ” Johnson

Bicycle Drive By. The gangster version of Motorcycle Drive By by TEB.

     This is actually a very long overdue tribute to one of my favorite video game characters. Carl is the protagonist from Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. After approximately one million hours of actual playtime, I feel like I’ve gotten to know CJ pretty well. For a short sum up of his personality, he’s a street thug with a heart of gold. He has the ability to befriend many people from disparate ethnicities as well as socio-economic groups.

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     We have over 150 posts now, spanning more than three years. I guess that’s kind of weak according to most blogger’s stats, but hey, it is what it is. Anywho, I figured we have enough posts to pull out some old gems that I particularly liked and that I think you should read. I know you’re not going to go back through all our posts and read them, so I shall select ones that I find particularly funny and you WILL read them. So it is said, so let it be done. And yes, this is partly me being lazy. Let’s face it, this is easier than coming up with new ideas.

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Dear Wale

Dear Wale,

We know your name is Wah-lay, not Wah-lee, so you can just skip that part of your songwriting process.

Love,

The World

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Global Warming/Interstate Highways

     In the past decades, much has been made of the Global Warming/Greenhouse Gas effect. Unfortunately, science got it wrong on this one. The Global Warming theory is really a massive conspiracy to hide the real reasons behind the slight warming trend and severe weather: The Interstate Highway System. That’s correct, the real culprit is our glorious highway system. The Interstates were authorized in 1956 by the Federal-Aid Highway Act. It was unveiled as a system of roads making it easier for the national defense of the country by allowing troops to move about more easily. Popular opinion would have you believe that it was championed by President Dwight D. Eisenhower after he saw how effectively the Germans used the Autobahn in World War II. This was merely a smokescreen to hide the real nature of the Interstate system.

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     The other day I ran out of shampoo. To most people, that would seem like a pretty standard part of life. Not so with me. This particular bottle of shampoo has lasted me for years. And I mean years. It all started senior year of college when a group of my friends and I moved into a house off campus. One of my roommates (and one of my boys to this day) and I shared a bathroom upstairs. This bathroom was covered in a previous post, but the point was that he brought a giant bottle of shampoo to the table. I won’t share his real name since to be mentioned on this blog might be a deal-breaker for any job he might want to have in future, but I have referred to him as J-Bone. K-Rock knows who I’m talking about.

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     Well it’s about time to get jazzed up again. Maryland Basketball has begun. Looking through Google Image Results for Duke Maryland Basketball is one of my early-in-the-season traditions. It never fails to get me fired up. I figured I would share some of my favorite pictures that prove that Duke blows ass. Shall we start?

     One of the best. Clearly they raise Duke fans to be crybabies very early in life.

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     Well it’s been a minute since I posted (and by minute I mean several months), so I’ll give it a go again I guess. I don’t know why I bother though. I was looking at the blog stats, and we average the same number of hits whether either of us post or not. In fact, after I started posting in August and September, the hit count took a precipitous drop. It seems that the blog does better when I don’t post. If that’s a message about the content, then suck it. It’s understood, I do it for the hood.

     Anyway, the title of this post is entirely misleading. I’ll be talking about a technology used to hold up pants that has been around for a while. If you came here looking for some actual recent developments, check back in a couple of months. I’ve got some stuff in the works. A couple weeks back I was in the wedding of my boy from high school and his lovely bride. It was a lovely ceremony, and a good time was had by all. The End.

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