Get the Hell Out of My Parking Spot (An Open Letter to the People of College Park)

     Obviously it’s been a while since I updated the blog and I stumbled across a post that I had drafted in February. It’s a little out of date now since we haven’t actually had snow in a while, but I’m gonna go ahead and say that I posted it late on purpose for all of our readers in the Southern Hemisphere. I hear it’s Fall down there. And that all the toilets run in the opposite direction. Anyhow, enjoy!

     As you know, the District area was crippled by a snow storm of such magnitude that just seeing it drove many hopelessly insane. It was fun to watch the news ever night and see the pure panic in the eyes of the media as they warned of the upcoming storm of death. Note, the state of Maryland really does not understand snow removal. Yes, its nice that you’re out there in your snow plow, but the blade must in fact be lowered in order to move the snow. Christ, what a clusterfuck. My road is pretty low on the priority list of plowing so we couldn’t drive for a couple of days. This made walking to the liquor store a necessity. Unfortunately the only open liquor store was about a mile and three quarters away. What a pain in the ass. The bottle of Ol Grandad made the trip back bearable though.

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The Octo-Burner

     I will start this treatise by saying that I understand that there are a lot of major problems in our world right now (war, poverty, oppression, twitter), but I feel that there a lingering debate which I feel necessary to elucidate.

     If you’re like me, you’ve have a lot of drunk conversations at bars, in kitchens, in livings rooms or outdoors. I notice that one particular drunken debate that comes up is the following:

          “So who do you think is better: The Who, The Rolling Stones or Led Zeppelin?”

     I’m going to settle this debate once and for all. Led Zeppelin is the best band, far and away, not even close. I should mention here that I am a huge fan of all three of these bands. Songs from all three are currently on my iPod and I honestly can’t remember a commute that didn’t feature heavy doses of all three. But back to return to the matter at hand: Led Zeppelin.

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The New and Improved Ranty

Dear Reader,

     Congratulations!! You have been randomly selected from our readership to hear about this one-time exclusive offer! Ranty McRanterson is expanding and upgrading. We will soon be offering more, both in terms of content and gloriosity. Coming soon, we will have increased guest writers providing rants on a wide variety of topics including, but not limited to, MLB news, music, politics and kittens.

KITTEN!!!!!!!

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