Apologies to my Freshman Year Roommate

This is a new section I’ve been wanting to write about for quite some time – it’s just been weighing pretty heavily upon my conscience lately, so here it goes.

Anyone who knew or interacted with me during my freshman year at Susquehanna, they probably knew that I did not particularly get along well with my roommate at the time, let’s call him “M&rk.” I would like to sincerely apologize for all of the crap that I put him through, so if you ever read this, M&rk, seriously, I’m sorry.

At one point first semester, I urinated in an empty coke bottle in my closet just for the hell of it. First off, I was shocked that I could fill a 20 oz container to precisely the same level that most beverages are bottled at, so I proudly showed M&rk my accomplishment. He was not amused. I wasn’t done though.

That day…was not M&rk’s day.

He had this unhealthy fascination with his computer, so one of my constant goals was to figure out ways to get him out of his computer chair besides sleeping and occasionally, bathing. Not only could I fill a 20 oz bottle with urine, my urine also was surprisingly warm. I wanted M&rk to know how warm it was, so I tried to hold it up to his face, but he was not having anything to do with that. I didn’t really understand why he was pissed (LOL OMG ROFL) about it, it’s not like I peed on the outside of the bottle. In retrospect, it was a pretty awful thing to do.

Dear M&rk,

I am profoundly sorry for holding a warm bottle of pee up to your face.

Love,

Matt

Read Full Post »